Today I deviated from my usual, ahem, “routine”. It’s actually a rut, if I’m truthful. The cupboards were bare. I usually just head to the grocery store nearby. But today was Thursday, Market Day. I’d been thinking about it since last night. I haven’t been since the fall. In fact I’ve never been to the market in St. Jacob’s in the winter. I wanted to get some quality meat and the market is a good place to buy local and organic. Plus I just like the market. Ever since I first started to go to the Byward Market, in Ottawa, I’ve loved market shopping.
My plan was to go to market after dropping the boys off at school. I started to question that decision as the school got nearer. It would be more time efficient to go to the grocery store and buy everything in one place. I almost convinced myself to follow through on that thought. But deep down the market was beckoning.
I know this seems over-analyzed for something so trivial. Unfortunately, this is the way my mind works. I eventually talk myself out of whatever. Routine, security, and fear win out. It’s so much easier to stick to the usual. I feel safe in the usual. Most of the time. If you’ve ever dealt with any kind of anxiety for any length of time you know how hard it is to go against the safe, the normal. Some days leaving the house is a big deal.
I had work to do at home. This was a little frivolous too. I didn’t really have time for market today, I justified.
Recognition really is the first step to recovery. Instead of burying this desire, I listened to it. Instead of talking myself out of it, I started to convince myself into it. I need to get out and see things. I’ve been in the house all week. If I want to be inspired and feel creative, that’s not going to happen at home amid all the pressing needs. My senses needed an awakening. The market was the perfect place.
I drove out to St. Jacobs. It was a beautiful morning. A little bit of snow last night had left the trees delicately outlined. The sun was shining and it was biting cold. Just the way I like it. The fields were pure white and the wide open space invited me in. I love the country. I grew up in a farming community. It feels like home.
It was still early enough that there were no crowds and lots of parking. I went into the new building and the smell of meat, cheese, garlic and other spices tantalized my nose. The new building is quite bright and open too. The workers were friendly. I wandered around looking at meat and prices.
Even the chicken place wasn’t busy. On my second stroll by, no one was at the counter. This is like winning the lottery. This chicken place is always busy. You have to be aggressive to get served. I usually don’t bother because of the crowds. I wasn’t going to buy anything today but because the counter was empty of customers, I had too! I enjoyed the luxury of taking my time and placing my order without a single elbow in my side or someone’s breath on my neck.
I splurged and bought some Egyptian food that my kids will turn up their noses at but I am going to enjoy.
As I drove out of the parking lot, a horse and winter buggy drove by. It’s still new enough for me that it gives me a thrill every time.
The trip to St. Jacobs didn’t take long. I was back in an hour. But I felt like I’d been gone several. My mind was stimulated. I had fun. It may seem small but isn’t it the small things that really make up our lives? Yeah I want to enjoy the big stuff when it happens but if I can’t stop and love the small things, than chances are, the big stuff will pass me by too. Our lives are made up of more small things than big. For me, chucking the rut out the window, and doing something new is all part of abundant living. I want more of living and less rut. Going to market was a win for me. The more you do it, the easier it comes.
This is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24 NKJV
