If you kill the good girl, then you at some point, you have to figure out the girl who is left behind.
It’s a lot more difficult to do than it is to write it down here. It’s easier to hide behind the imposter. Or insert a new one. Walk away and leave the hidden original buried. Hiding and invisibility have been a couple of “sacred echoes” as Margaret Feinberg calls them, that have been weaving in and out of my life for a while now. You know those messages that keep repeating themselves in books, movies, conversations, etc. For me, it usually means God’s trying to have a conversation with me about whatever it is that is echoing down the corridors of my life. You’ve had it happen too.
Last week, my husband and I went out and saw the movie Joy. (Fantastic movie!) In the movie, one of the themes is hiding. At one point Joy realizes that she had been hiding for too long in a long list of responsibilities. She’s killed off a part of herself that was vital to her not just living, but thriving. (Killing off this part of you is not the same as killing off the good girl/imposter. It is just the opposite.) Joy realizes that sometimes in hiding, you hide from yourself. For those of us who have hidden parts of ourselves away, we know that it can kill joy (pun not intended) as well as creativity, fun, hope, etc., etc..
We hide behind the roles we are given. We hide behind the truck load of responsibilities we all have. We hide behind our work. We hide behind our front doors. And we hide behind the imposters and the masks.
But if you kill the imposter, whoever she/he is, then it’s time to stare down the real person hiding and drag her out into the light.
It’s not about reinventing yourself. It’s about discovering the person who has been there all along. The person you thought wasn’t good enough to be seen by others. The person you probably thought wasn’t worth the time or effort. Who was too much or too little. It can be a little disconcerting to be suddenly left with this person who you no longer really know or understand. Reacquainting yourself is gonna take some time and effort. It’s worth it because it’s life giving.
The funny thing is that Jesus never lost sight of him or her. Jesus always saw the real person. He saw the man hidden behind the legions of demons. He saw the woman behind the false bravado and reputation at the well. He saw the heart of a disciple behind the tax collector. The courageous leader behind the fisherman. He sees the entrepreneur behind the mom struggling to look after three, under the age of two. He sees the leader behind the gang banger. He sees the artist behind the bookworm. They were all hidden but Jesus saw the real them, right from the start. He cut through all the lies, the layers of identities and covers. He knew them because He’d created them.
He created them for a purpose. He’s waiting for them to show up. So is the world. Because they have a job only they can do.
I’m reminded of the song i used to sing as a little kid. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine.
The little light we were created with, it isn’t with the imposter. It’s inside the real person who we sometimes hide away. It’s time to get to know him or her and find the light and let it shine.
Matthew 5:15The Voice Similarly it would be silly to light a lamp and then hide it under a bowl. When someone lights a lamp, she puts it on a table or a desk or a chair, and the light illumines the entire house.
What’s your ‘sacred echo” today? What parts of you have you hidden away? Why?