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I’m not sure about you, but time is fleeting, is no exaggeration around here.  I’m having a major freak-out as another day is already half over and what I wanted to get done today, I’ve barely started.  

I have been running since 7:30am, when my youngest and I were on the way to the x-ray clinic to have his elbow x-rayed for a possible fracture.  He fell on it a week ago and has complained ever since. Did I mention he was also at the clinic on Sunday with a second weird skin infection in a month?  And that he has outgrown all his pants this week?  So I’ve run to the clinic, pharmacy (3x’s), Sears, chiropractor, x-ray clinic and Old Navy since Sunday.  I realize for some people, this is normal or that they don’t have a choice in this normal.  For me, I don’t like this normal.  I knew it was risky when I wrote that I had a week to get ready for Advent.  It’s now Thursday and no, I have not done anything about it.  No time!

So now I am in a panic because I haven’t gotten my “stuff” done,  Inside my head there is this tape that plays that says, “Hurry, hurry or you will run out of time.”  And then the clock ticks in the back ground, keeping track of those lost seconds.  Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick…….  

Until the ticking stops and the time-bomb I have become, explodes.  Is this really how it has to be?  Is this how we are supposed to live our lives?  On top of that my last blog keeps poking me in my head.  Ok I don’t want to be a hypocrite.  So I go back and review.  What is it I’m supposed to do?  Believe.  Our only job is to believe.  I check myself.  I do believe.  Then add no fear.  Ahhh.  There it is.  My freak out over time is fear based.  

Where is the fear coming from?  Why?  It’s all about the deadlines I have imposed on myself.  I mean you think I’d have finally figured it out.  Let’s face it, I’ve arrived late to the ball by about five years, or been a no-show at all, on all the deadlines I’ve made up for myself.  I forget that it’s all about timing.  Not mine.  God’s.  Nothing is happening if it’s not time.  So why am I getting in a flap about it?  Why do I think I’m going to miss something or even worse, miss out on something? (Hence the fear.)

The Word of God is an example of a perfect time sheet.  He sees the larger picture.  I can’t see it.  I don’t understand it.  But all the stories in the bible are stories of God’s timing.  Jericho fell after seven days of marching.  On the seventh day, the trumpets blared and the walls came down.  Not six days but seven.  The walls weren’t coming down until that seventh day.  

Hannah had to wait for Samuel.  He was born at the right time so he could anoint both Saul and David as king over Israel in his lifetime.  That he would be a prophet for both kings.  Who knows the difference a few years could have made.  

Jesus eluded those who wanted to kill him, time and again throughout the gospels.  “Yet no one seized him, because his time had not yet come.”  (John 8:20b)  Then when the time was right, he was arrested.  

Nothing is happening to us that is not God-time approved.  He is not surprised by anything.  He already knows.  So why am I getting anxious over stupid self-imposed deadlines?  I’m not saying it’s not good to be motivated or do your homework and prepare.  But living frenetic lives because we think we can make and shake things into being is useless.  Not to mention exhausting.  The days I get up and let events master me are generally not good because they are dictated by emotion and pleasing people.  But the days that begin, “Instruct me and teach me in the way I should go; Counsel me and watch over me.”  (based on Psalm 32:8)  are so much more purposeful.  Peaceful.  Not fear driven.  That would be a big improvement for me.  

 (The ink had barely dried on this when my youngest calls me from school that he had fallen on his elbow again.  He had tripped on his shoelaces that I have continually told him to tie up.  Is this a test?  It made me go back and rewrite a bit.  If I’m going to write it, I have to follow it.)