Forget the Pity Party, It’s Time to Join the Real Party

It’s been one of those mornings. It started with a list of things I hadn’t done. I hadn’t gotten the reeds for my son’s musical instrument so he couldn’t play. The rabbit’s nails need clipping and we’d been reminded for weeks. Three to be precise. I could see the invisible shake of my son’s head.

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The conversation took on a life of it’s own in my own mind. I know he’s thinking to himself, “What is wrong with you? You can’t even get it together! I am never going to be like that!” In this imaginary conversation I began to defensively list why things weren’t getting done. Thankfully I kept it to myself.

I dropped them off and drove home feeling very inadequate as a parent and an adult. I sat down to read a blog that’s supposed to encourage but instead I walked away defeated and guilty.  I felt like the worst mom ever. Ever read something that’s supposed to lift you up but instead you feel like you got sucker punched?

Things were spiralling downwards pretty fast and I had a headache to boot. The day was about to go in the toilet. Ever have one of those days? Maybe today?

But wait! There is good news!

There are some days where God decides that He’s going to intervene immediately. Today was one of those days. I hope it is for you too.

I sat down to read Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling. These were the opening words:

“Be on guard against the pit of self-pity. When you are weary or unwell, this demonic trap is the greatest danger you face.” (p.56)

She goes on to say that by praising God and thanking Him, we can combat those feelings and stay away from that particular cliff. That by staying close to Jesus (remembering He is near, knowing His Word and keeping it on our lips) we keep our distance from said cliff.
Wow! It was like God was snapping His fingers in my face and telling me to wake up and get with the program! Not only was He telling me to stop feeling sorry for myself but He gave me a recipe to win over it.

I stopped and looked at my situation. God had brought healing and wholeness in my life through different people and courses. My mothering had changed FOR THE BETTER. The path set out before us is totally different than one ten years ago. I am thankful for that. Then God reminded me that I have some very good friends and kind people all around me. I am thankful for them. That today of all days, I am surrounded by blessings from God.
Gratitude crashed that self-pity party. You can’t be thankful and feel sorry for yourself at the same time. It doesn’t work.

It was also a reminder that some days God wants to celebrate with you and He’s not going to put up with lies and garbage. This weekend is a big celebration here at our house. It’s Book Launch weekend and the real party plans are in place. I have much to be grateful for and God reminded me of that too. It’s not a time to get wrapped up in fear and self-pity. (It’s never a good time for that!) It’s a time for festivities and God wants to join us in those times too.

 

I believe He delights over us with singing at all times, good and bad, but how much sweeter must it be in the good? (Zeph 3:17) He wants us to let go of self-pity, fear, feelings of self-loathing and just celebrate Him and what He has done for us! It’s a time for joy and I want to be a part of that! The blessings are many if we look for them and put aside our own pity parties.

 

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I’m proud of the accomplishment of pursuing a dream. But the real celebration is the faithfulness of God. Ten years is long time. I would have quit but He had a plan. The unravelling of this plan and the excitement of being able to witness what HE is going to do is plenty excuse to throw a party!

What are you celebrating today with God?

Embracing Other Moms

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17 NLT

When my boys were teeny tiny, I was fortunate enough to be in a community that ran a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group. The church I attended hosted MOPS, but the group was open to the community and a lot of women came with their children. It was a life saviour for me, providing two hours of grown-up time with other moms while the kiddos went into their groups to learn and play.

It’s also where I met some of my best friends….

To read more click here.  I’m sharing over at Raising Generations Today.

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The Inadequate Lie

Inadequate. The word keeps rolling around my brain. I ask myself, “Does anyone ever get to the point where you ever feel adequate?”

I’m not sure to tell you the truth. We feel inadequate in so many areas of life at different times. We feel inadequate as parents when our children struggle or have issues. We feel inadequate when we don’t get the promotion at work. We feel inadequate even when we have no control over the situation.

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I was diagnosed with diabetes this past year. The doctor just looked at me, puzzled. I should not have diabetes. I have no precursors except one. It’s in the genes so to speak. I felt inadequate sitting there in her office, because for no apparent reason, my body was letting me down.

The Inadequate Lie. That’s what I’m calling it.  Because it’s a lie that you are inadequate. That I am. 
I have been dancing around this word, trying to write this out for probably a month now. Because not only have I felt inadequate with my health but that word has been shouting at me for the better part of the last five months. Probably longer but it became all CAPS IN THE LAST FIVE MONTHS.

Ironically, just as my book has been published, I have struggled with feeling inadequate as a pastor’s wife, as a writer, as a Christian. This does not make me ungrateful. I am so thankful for the opportunity that God has provided to get His message out there. It is so badly needed. I believe in the message. But I have to wonder about the messenger. Which makes me feel like a bigger fraud because this is the precise message of the book; being called to a role or a place and you feel like the biggest, ugliest square peg in a very delicate round hole.

It can be anything or any role, not just a pastor’s wife. Maybe you feel inadequate as a parent, as daughter or son, as a caretaker, or whatever job you may be working in right now. Maybe you feel like you’ve been called to a city or town that feels so alien you’d think you were on a different planet. We all feel it sometimes. Like there is no way we will ever measure up.

The Inadequate Lie manifests itself in times of both success and failure. It doesn’t matter how many accolades, songs of praise we’ve heard, we still feel less than. Or we know failure is knocking because we’ve done it so many times before. The Inadequate Lie has power because we continue to be sucked into these cycles of lies. We fall for the whispers every time and as long as we believe them, we will feel inadequate regardless. The lie will win even if reality says otherwise.

I read a memoir, Atlas Girl by Emily Wierenga. We had a lot of the same dreams for our lives. Yet she said when her name was on a book, it wasn’t enough. I’ve never forgotten that line. She still felt inadequate. What’s the dream that you had that in the end, wasn’t enough?

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It is at this point that God stands waiting. He’s waiting for us to turn to Him. We’ve reached the pinnacle of what we define as success. Or we’ve sunk so low, there’s no place else to go. We have come to the ends of ourselves. We know it. So does He. And He waits for us.

If we want to get beyond the narcissism or the pride or whatever it is, there’s only one place to turn. He created us in His image. He is the embodiment of truth. If we turn to Him in all our feelings of inadequacy he can take those things and refine them until they are bright and shiny, turning lies to truth.

What is the truth? The truth is He is I AM. And always will be forever and ever. I AM is greater than all our successes, our failures, our measuring sticks. Even though He is bigger than anything out there, He grabs our hand and pulls us into the adventure, allowing us a glimpse of Him. It isn’t about our inadequacies. It isn’t about publishing books. It isn’t about being the perfect parent or child. It isn’t about the latest promotion. It’s only about Him. Those things are of this world, although we may be called to them, they will never be enough. Only He is enough. Like a blanket, I AM covers everything else.

And the good news? The Inadequate Lie loses. We are not inadequate. I AM gives us the power to do what He’s called us to do. We are ENABLED by His Spirit to move mountains, write books, sing songs, parent children and prodigals, and become who we were created to be. It is the Enabled Truth.